Nigel Farage in Dramatic Plea: Anglo-Saxons Come Home!

On his LBC show today, Nigel Farage made a dramatic plea, telling his listeners that it’s time for Anglo-Saxons in the US, Australia, and other regions of the globe to pack their bags and come back to Blighty. 

The former UKIP leader and MEP said that if the English want to stop migrants coming into the country, and if they also want non-white migrants to leave, then they needed to “bite the bullet” and “embrace the Elephant in the room.” He continued by saying that this bullet and elephant refers to the hundreds of millions of Anglo-Saxons who are descendants of migrants to the US and other regions of the world like Australia. The solution, Mr. Farage said, was to do a quick swop; non-Anglo-Saxons can leave the UK and go to the US, Australia, Canada, and other places, and Anglo-Saxon expats (numbering 200 million) can live in Britain.
Farage’s idea caused consternation on the airwaves. One listener, named Jeff, pressed the ex-UKIP leader on how this would work in practice. Farage quickly retorted: “Making things work is the responsibility of others. My job is to suggest silly things which are popular but impossible to implement. Look how famous my time wrecking the EU has made me!”

Farage drew guarded support from other listeners. A Mr. Hussain Khan said his parents were from Pakistan but had decided to name his first son Nigel Farage Paul Nuttall Khan in honour of the heroes of English nationalism. Mr. Khan yet expressed concern. “Might my skin-colour be a problem,” Mr. Khan asked, “or can I act as one of those token minority supporters who give racism a thin veneer of respectability?” Farage nodded, adding, “there will always be a place in my heart for people I don’t like.”

Farage’s comments also went viral on social media. The German AfD party, whom Farage gave a speech to last week, said it was going to make repatriation of the descendants of German migrants to the US part of its policy platform. They were hesitant, however, on whether this would include Donald Trump whose father was of German descent. A spokesperson said “his mother was Scottish and besides, we are confident he wouldn’t find Germany on the map.”

The plea of the ex-UKIP chieftain has met with unexpected opposition from fellow nationalist Katie Hopkins. In her column on The Mail Online, Hopkins bemoaned the fact that she would have no more non-whites to heckle. “It’s all well and fine for Nigel to build his celebrity brand promoting stupid ideas which are then taken up by politicians who should know better,” Hopkins lamented, “but some of us need poor and marginalized people around so we can piss on them.” 

LBC have refused to comment on Farage’s proposals, merely releasing a statement. One passage reads; “We here at LBC respect diversity of opinion. If someone says the Earth is 6000 years old, the only criterion for us at LBC is how many people will swallow this garbage to boost our ratings.”

BTW, this is pure fake news intended to make a real point! Most of you know that, but there always are some clowns.


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